I Hate Housework

March 31, 2011 at 7:15 pm (Housework) (, , , )

I like the idea of a clean house. 

I like the thought of everything has a place and everything is in it’s place.

What I don’t like is the never-ending cleaning and picking up that is involved in the practical application of those ideas.  I hate cleaning.  I’d much rather sit down with my nose in a book and ignore the chaos around me.  But, that’s not right, that’s not balance and ultimately, that’s not God’s plan for my home.

I just recently finished with reading the book of Proverbs with my church.  We all know the Proverbs 31 women.  Many studies and books have been written on her.  I’ve grown to extremely dislike her, I really want to use the “H” word but can’t bring myself to use that word in relation to a Biblical figure.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (The Message)
10 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
11 Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. We all like to quote these two but don’t really like to go on to see why they are true.  That’s when it gets hard. But let us venture forth.
12 Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. Okay, I get this one, I am not a spiteful woman in general and feel I live up to this one most of the time…
13 She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. Another one for me, I LOVE to shop for yarns and cloths, I’m an avid knitter and crotchet and quilter.  Love these crafts.  Yeah, God is giving me the go ahead on something I like to do anyway, that’s not hard to follow.  Let’s see what else we got here….
14 She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. Hey, more shopping, yeah…wait who are the surprises supposed to be for…
15 She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. While I’ve not always been this woman, I did recently ask God to help me get up earlier to be able to spend time with Him.  He has, 4-5 am I am waking up and getting up.  I do find my whole day goes better when I do this.  Today, I slept in and I have been feeling like I’m playing catch up all day.  There may be something to this Proverbs woman!
16 She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.  I am planning a garden this year, but not with money I’ve put aside, I’m taking it from our regular family budget with hubbies help.
17 First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. Do sweat pants and a T-shirt count?
18 She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. Okay, here’s where they lose me.  I do not sense the worth of this housework thing, and I can hardly wait until we put The Boy to bed and hubby and I get to sit down and spend time together.
19 She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. I tend to be hit or miss in the homemaking department, remember my opening paragraph?

20 She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. I relate to this.  I do feel we have such a big house so that we can help those in need and we have in the past, however, my dislike, okay hatred, of housekeeping has rendered our two extra rooms junk piles and unusable for what we feel they are called for…. need to get that fixed.
21 She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. Does buying new count?
22 She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. I CAN make my own clothing and do sometimes, but my standard uniform is afore-mentioned sweats and a T-shirt.
23 Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. Not really sure how this is her doing, but I do try to keep The Boy away from hubby as he tries to work from home in his office upstairs.  Of course, right now, as I type this, The Boy is currently up in said office with his Daddy.  I did try to remove him but Daddy is okay with it for now and says to let it be….
24 She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. I do have a desire to do this with my quilts.  I have made one original design and made it for my sister-in-law for Christmas last year..
25 Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. Again with the nice clothes, I’m starting to think I need a wardrobe make over and that my sweats and T-shirt are not appropriate…. The attitude adjustment is an ongoing thing,  I don’t always face Today with a smile, don’t even get me started on Tomorrow!
26 When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.  This one God has been working on me with.  The old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, SHUT UP”  or something like that.
27  She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. I actually tend to take the attitude of “Just stay out of my hair and keep the noise to a dull roar” and leave everyone to their own devises.
28 Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: I don’t think a 4-year-old is capable of respect or blessing, it’s all about him.  Hubby is all the time telling how blessed he feels to have me as a wife, clearly he has low expectations. Thank You God!
29 “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”
30 Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. This is I think the main point of the whole proverb.  And as I feel called to ministry (link to Worship Warrior) I am concentrating on fulfilling all that God has called me to in preparing for that.  It’s the balance with the housewife/mother role that I am trying desperately to find.
31 Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! Another one we all try to quote at our husbands without making sure we fulfil the ones in between. 

I have a long way to go on this journey of homemaker.  I am reluctantly taking the journey.  Seeking a balance in all things.  As I type this, I have laundry sitting waiting to be folded, some in the washer and some in the dryer and one more load on the floor waiting to be started.  However, dinner is in the oven, the morning dishes are done and I have had my private time with The Lord.  My child isn’t dressed, but that is his choice, he prefers to run around in his boxers and a t-shirt and if I put clothes on him he’d just take them off and I’d have even more unnecessary laundry to do.

He does keep clothes on if we are out of the house.
So I pick my battles.

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I was right, for once

March 30, 2011 at 8:35 am (Thinking shift)

It doesn’t happen often.

I’ve always struggled with spelling.  As I became an adult I began to recognize the symptoms that were not seen by my teachers.

I have a very mild form of dyslexia.

I’ve always known that if I’m not careful I will transpose numbers so I have learned to check and double check anytime I’m copying a phone number or item number for what ever reason.

I’ve also come to realize I can’t spell to save my life.  I managed to barely pass spelling in grade school only to have to face spelling tests once again in college. Weird, I know.  But there you have it, spelling tests in my college composition class.  After the first dismal D the teacher accused me of not trying.  I tried to tell her how I can recognize a word is misspelled, it just doesn’t look right, but the more I try to figure out how to correct it the worse the misspelling becomes. Her response? I’m just not studying hard enough.

So I propose an experiment.  For the next week spelling words I would write each word ten times, every night, then have my roommate give me a spelling test.  Every word I got wrong I would write ten more times and bring all the work with me to the next testing day and turn it in to her.  On that test I got an F.  The teacher was confused.  “But you studied so hard, how could you have done worse?”

The dyslexia strikes again.

I told her that I have learned to adapt to my short coming.  In the time before computers and spell check, yes young’uns there was such a time, I always had a dictionary right beside me as I wrote papers. Because, while I couldn’t spell the word correctly, I was always close enough to be able to look it up in the dictionary.   I would then find one of my friends who was a good speller, or in high school my mom, to proof read all my papers.  Mom is the one who would mark a word wrong and not tell me how to spell it but tell me to “go look it up”, hence my fondness for the dictionary.

For the most part I can identify when a word is misspelled, but not always.  Which brings us to my actual point today.  I was right and my super speller husband was wrong.  On my other blog The Worship Warrior (link in sidebar), hubby said I had misspelled a particular word that was used repeatedly in the post Morning Song.  His claim, that Worshiper required two p’s.

My first inclination was to pull up the post and correct my mistake.  It didn’t occur to me that I might actually be right, I so rarely am when the subject is spelling.  However, spell check didn’t say worshiper was wrong and when I added the extra p I got the tell-tale red squiggly line.  So out came my phone and my digital dictionary.  I don’t always trust spell check and frequently turn to my old standby the dictionary.  Sure enough when I typed in worshipper, it came back with “do you mean worshiper”.

So for today, I’m right.

But I won’t let it go to my head.

I’m sure I will misspell something else.

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Does This Make Me a Bad Mommy?

March 29, 2011 at 3:26 pm (Parenting) (, , , )

I’m sitting down here typing away, had something happen that I wanted to get down for my Gastric Bypass blog.  My Husband is upstairs putting The Boy to bed.  I didn’t even go up and say good-night or give kisses or anything.  Nope, just sat here typing away. 

Then in the middle of the night The Boy wakes up crying and when I go to him he says, ”I needed you to pray with me, I needed you to rock me.”  Talk about breaking a mommies heart!

Of course that wasn’t the first time Daddy had ever put him down without me, nor will it be the last.  And The Boy doesn’t wake up like that every time wanting me.  There are times in the middle of the night when only Daddy will do, and Mommy gets to stay in bed, Yeah, but last night it was Mommy.

I of course pulled him up into my lap, after suggesting a midnight potty run, and rocked him until he was asleep.  As I was laying him in his bed, a very sleepy voice whispered, “I need you to pray with me.”  He was back asleep before I finished the short prayer and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.  He’s growing up so fast, hopefully we can continue to teach him that prayer is a comfort, even in the middle of the night.  Maybe, especially in the middle of the night.

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This Wasn’t My Choice

March 28, 2011 at 6:51 pm (Thinking shift) (, , , )

I miss my career. 

Don’t get me wrong, this is what I thought I wanted to do… someday, be a stay at home mom.  I had visions of a clean house, well-organized, with well-behaved and crafty children, diner on the table to welcome a husband home from work, myself showered and well-groomed with kids lined up to great daddy with a kiss at the door.  You know, the perfect home as a castle fantasy.

What I didn’t dream was a shoulder injury that would kick me out of my career and make housekeeping difficult leaving me depressed and lost packing on over 50 lbs before pregnancy.  A husband (whom I love dearly and wouldn’t trade for the world) who works from home.  A “busy” little boy who HATES crafts and would much rather watch Mythbusters or Ice Road Truckers while recreating the myths and Ice roads all over my house with his hot wheels that seem to procreate in the night. Difficulty in having a second child while seeing 40 loom closer and closer.  Myself hating vacuuming, laundry, dusting, organizing, cleaning bathrooms used by 2 males (for those of you with all girls, you really don’t want to know).  Gastric bypass surgery in the hopes that serious weight loss will help with the infertility.  Trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and dear God, please let it use more of my brain than I am currently engaging.  Well, you get the idea.

So I say again, this wasn’t my choice, but it is my life, so where do I go from here?

I do miss my career.  I was a surgical technologist, and according to those I worked with, I was a damn good one.  I enjoyed the challenge of being a traveling surgical technologist, which means I moved across country every 3 months.  New hospital with all new soon to be friends and different ways of doing things, new Dr.’s to learn their little idiosyncracies, new towns to find my way around.  I LOVED it.  It was a challenge, it was adventure, it demanded my full attention.

Then I came to Upstate New York.  My parents lived in the area.  My mom’s health was rapidly deteriorating.  The hospital kept offering me a new contract every 3 months.  I kept accepting.  I stayed at that hospital as a traveler for over 4 years, 3 month contract at a time.  I met my husband.  We decided to stay in the area for my parents.  Then the accident….

It was a normal day at work, but I fell off a step stool and caught myself on my table, pulling my shoulder in the process.  For 2 years we tried physical therapy, cortisone injections, out of work, finally decided I needed surgery.  By this time I was pregnant so we had to wait.  I had shoulder surgery when T was about 9 months old.  So hard to explain to a baby why mommy can’t pick him up.  Three years I had been out of the OR and now I had an infant at home.

So, I didn’t choose this, but here I am and I’m trying to make the best of it.

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