Five Minute Friday: The Hard Love

April 22, 2011 at 4:34 pm (Uncategorized)

Linked to Five Minute Friday over on:

The Hard Love

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My parents are aging.

We are growing apart.

I’m growing up into my own person and they don’t like it.

I’m married now, with a child yet I am torn.  I feel pulled in two directions.

Mom is not well.  Physically or emotionally.

It’s hard to not take what she says personally,  I know if she were in her right mind she wouldn’t say some of the things she has said.  The problem is that it can be hard to tell.  She has very lucid moments when the mother I long to connect with is there again.  And then in an instant, she’s gone and before my brain can acknowledge the transition, something is said that wounds.

Those wounds go deep and they pop up again when I least expect it.

But she’s my mom and I can’t completely disconnect from her.  So I’ve had to institute safe guards.  Emails, texting, skyping with my husband and dad present.

I miss my mom, I miss being able to talk to her.  Yet, even though she doesn’t see it, I still love her deeply.

Stop

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2 Comments

  1. Paula Ebert said,

    Although I can’t understand exactly what you are going through, I know it must be hard to watch your mom’s health go downhill. My parents are getting older and things are changing, and it is just hard to see them change from the once vibrant force that they were. Your words are so heartfelt. Thanks for sharing! Hope you have a very blessed Easter!

  2. Diana Trautwein said,

    Oh my, can I relate. In fact, I posted along similar lines today. It is so tough to see these terrific vibrant parents of ours slowly disappear into the ether of old age, isn’t it? I pray you will find peace and comfort as you you walk this last part of the journey with your mom.

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