Teaching Rudeness

September 2, 2011 at 9:21 am (Uncategorized)

A few days ago I took my son to a local lakeside park to meet up with some other mammas and kids.  My son is VERY outgoing, he’s never met a stranger.  To him, a stranger is just a friend he hasn’t met yet.  I love that about him.  I believe that is what Jesus is talking about when he say we need to become like little children, all-inclusive.

What I saw that day torn up this mammas heart.  I saw my son snubbed time and time again.  He’d walk up to a group of kids and say “Hi, guys!”  and they would turn their backs on him, look at each other and mouth, “Do you know him?”  Or they’d look around for a parent to see if they should run away from my ever so dangerous 4-year-old.

Thankfully, he’s too young to let this phase him.  He keeps trying to be friendly and we encourage that.  We teach him to say hello when someone else greets him.  We encourage him to be the first to say hello to people we pass on the street.

I’m concerned that we are raising rude children in the guise of safety.  Stranger Danger has pushed us to ignore common courtesies.  You can teach your child to be friendly, while teaching them not to go off with a stranger.

Honestly, when you look at the statistics, we should be more concerned with lightning striking our children on those metal playgrounds than with stranger abductions.  Most abductions are custody battle/family member abductions.  Yes there are stranger abductions, and yes we need to raise kids who know how to run away and not get into a strangers car no matter what they say.

How does that translate into being rude to a friendly 4-year-old?  I know he’s big for his age, but he’s not going to cart your 7-year-old off the play ground.  He’s just looking for someone to dig in the sand with, or play tag, or swing on the swings, slide down the slide and in general have some playground fun.  You know, the way we used to do, when we were kids.

When did friendship for the younger set become only parent-approved-Mommy-get-along-with-their-mommy-and-we-are-both-there-to-supervise-your-play.

My mother-in-law told me of an incident that she experienced down in Arizona.

She’s in her 60’s and she was at Sam’s Club with her mother. Two very scary ladies.  They were sitting in the food court area having some ice cream and at the table next to them were three children waiting for their dad who was in line for food.  My mother-in-law is a grade school special education teacher.

Talking to children is as normal as breathing for her.  So she says hi and asks them how they like school, the usual stuff.

The littlest one starts to reply but is stared down by the older two.  My mother-in-law hasn’t caught on yet, so she asks more questions.  the little on looks over to her daddy and then all three stare down at the table, ignoring my her.  A few minutes later the dad comes over with their food and tells my mother-in-law, “We don’t allow our children to talk to strangers”

She was stunned into silence. My first thought was, “How sad for your kids, how do they ever make friends and learn to talk to adults.”  My second thought was, “So you’re actively teaching your children to be rude.  How nice for society”

We have become a rude society.  Politeness and common courtesies are not so common anymore.  It’s all about me and I don’t have to be nice to you.  After all, you are a stranger and strangers are dangerous.

How Sad.

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Thankful

July 11, 2011 at 8:56 pm (Gratituesday, Housework)

One of the things I’m truly thankful for as I sit looking around at all the clutter that I’ve been meaning to get to this last week, is my very down to earth, understanding Mother in law.

We leave tomorrow afternoon to pick her up.  I’m so thankful that a clean kitchen (check), clean linen (check), and a clean bathroom (on list for tomorrow) are really all she expects.

She remembers what it’s like with a toddler/small boy, she raised 2.

She gets that stuff piles up in your life and until you have a large  chunk of time to devote to weeding through and trowing things out, it just sits there waiting and collecting more stuff.

I’m really thankful knowing that while she is here, she will help with the day to day keeping of the house so that I can do the weeding out.

I’m just really thankful for my Mother in Law.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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Gratituseday

July 4, 2011 at 10:48 pm (Uncategorized)

What I’m thankful for this week…

1. Lazy Holidays

2. Watching a little boy watch his first parade.

3. Friends who feel comfortable enough to just stop by for the weekend and don’t care about the mess.

4. Spending time outside and just letting my house be.

5. A Husband who is fine with #3&4.

6. New friends close by who own a restaurant…

7. and have adopted us as family  The Blues Concept

8. A husband who will talk me out of a cute kitten… they turn into cats!

9. New screen doors for the house, even though it is taking way longer to get them painted and hung than anticipated…. dark color choices require MULTIPLE coats to be the color you chose

10. portable crafts like crocheting

11. napping little boys.

12. Cuddling up with my son as we watch fireworks for the first time

13. Ear plug that allow a little boy with sensitive ears to enjoy fireworks.

Linked it with Gratituesday.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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Treasures Found

July 2, 2011 at 9:03 am (Uncategorized)

You may not be remembered for your sacrifice

56 Men and a Savior

  

True Intimacy

Simple Marriage | 30 Ways to be Intimate With Your Wife

Enjoy beauty and inspiration where you find it.

I want to make a quilt from this picture

http://www.stumbleupon.com/to/s/3ecqsO

Never forget the cookies.

.

No-Bake Chewy Cookies and Cream Bars | Picky Palate

 

Seeking Sweetness in Everyday Life – CakeSpy – Snap, Crackle and Pop Rocks: Explosively Delicious 
*******************************
Linked up with Simply Staci: Saturday Stumbles

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Spicy Scalloped Potatoes with Ham

July 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm (Uncategorized)

Dinner tonight….

1 vadillia onion thinly sliced

1 large slice ham diced

3-5 potatoes thinly sliced, I left the peel on

2 cups sharp cheddar cheese shredded

1 stick butter

1 1/2 cup milk

2 TBS flour

3 TBS dehydrated buttermilk

1 TBS minced garlic

2 TBS paprika

2 TBS cumin

1 TBS franks red-hot sauce

1 egg

salt to taste

1 cup mexican shredded cheese

Shredded parmesan cheese

Mix potatoes, onion, and cheddar cheese in a casserole baking dish (I used my Pampered Chef stoneware dish). Slice one stick butter (I’ll probably cut that to half a stick next time) and lay evenly over potato and onions.   Mix milk, flour, buttermilk powder, garlic, paprika, cumin, hot sauce, egg, and salt until well blended.  Pour over potatoes and onions and cheddar cheese in baking dish.  Sprinkle mexican cheese on top, cover with foil and bake at 350 for one hour.  Remove foil and sprinkle with shredded parmesan cheese.  Return to oven until all cheese is melted and top is a nice bubbly golden brown.

 

Not very spicy, no burn, but nice flavor.  I’d probably cut the butter and add more spice next time.  Even my 4-year-old ate it up, which is always a good thing.

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Gratituesday

June 28, 2011 at 6:35 am (Uncategorized)

Yesterday, my son and I took a road trip with a wrought iron sleigh bed strapped to the top of my 2000 Buick Rondevue.  We had some friends who wanted the bed frame, we wanted out of our house, I’m ALWAYS up for a road trip and this one was only about 2 hours, it was a win-win.

My car has issues.

1.  A few years ago the motor on the driver side window broke, the window is taped in place with purple duct tape.

2. The driver side door has other problems, you can’t use the handle to shut the door, you must use the edge up by the window.

3. The air conditioning is temperamental, it works when it feels like it which is lots of fun when coupled with issue #1.

4. There is no emergency brake, the brake cable broke a few weeks ago and Dear Hubby hasn’t fixed it yet.

5. The ABS is currently not working, broken sensor according to DH, which means that the all-wheel drive doesn’t work.  DH promises to get it fixed before winter when I’ll need it.

6. It’s started this popping noise when you crank the wheel for a tight turn.

7. I’ve been telling DH that the exhaust has gotten louder, I was sure there was a hole in the system somewhere.

Despite all this, DH and I decided the road trip was a good idea.

I know this doesn’t sound very gratituesdayish (is that a word) but stay with me.

The trip was going well, The Boy had fallen asleep, I had a new music album to listen to, John Mark McMillan “The Medicine”, I was enjoying my day….

Then the exhaust got REALLY loud.  Thankfully I was only about 20 min from our destination.

Once we got there, I got out of the car and bent over to look at the under carriage.

This is what I saw…..

What I am thankful for today is….

1. The fact that it happened just 20 min from where I needed to be.

2. I found a Monro Muffler shop just 3.7 mile away.

3. Said Monro was open until 7 pm, it was after 5pm.

4. The wonderful men at Monro were able to patch my exhaust back together with a new pipe to get me home today.

5. Just across a parking lot and empty lot, within easy walking was a Pizza Hut and an ice cream shop to feed and entertain The Boy.

6. The friends I was moving the bed for had an extra room with 2 twin beds for my son and I to sleep in.

7. There is a Dunkin Donuts close by so I could get some coffee.

8. The guys at Monro told me that as low as the muffler was hanging, it could have caught on a pot hole and been pushed beck through my gas tank.  SO THANKFUL that didn’t happen.

It was fun watching them try to get the car up on the lift.  The muffler hanging down kept getting caught on the rack and another man had to use a broom handle to reach under and hold it up as they drove the car on the lift.

In a few hours we will get in the car and drive the 2 hours home.  I’m thankful for God’s protection on the way down and I know He will protect us on the way home.

Then, DH will work toward getting it all fixed up for me because the next trip we take with it will be this Thanksgiving as we drive from Upstate New York to Arizona to spend the holidays with our family.  It must be in good working order by then.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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No Umption

June 24, 2011 at 5:15 pm (Uncategorized)

I woke up this morning, honestly I was slightly hung over.  After having Gastric Bypass last October, I haven’t had much alcohol.  It’s not recommended right after surgery and I honestly wasn’t that big of a drinker pre-surgery.  But lately, hubby and I have been venturing into the world of wine.

Up until last night, I was very careful to keep to one small glass at one time.  Last night, Jim went up to do some stuff on the computer while I watched Big Bang Theory (he’s not a fan of sitcoms) and finished the 2 lines left on a baby blanket I was crocheting.  Baby blanket done and that’s another half-finished project I’ve picked up and finished recently, Woo Hoo!

So there I sat, finishing my blanket with an empty wine glass, I’d had one glass, and there was wine left in the bottle…

One glass, I barely feel any effects

One and a half glasses, I’m feeling good, enjoying wine and not drunk but happy juicy.

Two glasses, I had to text Jim to come help me up the stairs.  Now I know.

So today, I didn’t feel like doing much, and yet I got a lot done!

 

Cardboard neatly stacked on the back porch by the garbage.

Kitchen and dinning room vacuumed.

Kitchen cleaned up twice, dishes done.

A cake/cobbler baked.

Ranch cucumber onion salad made

one load of laundry washed/dried (still in the dryer)

quilt material ironed and separated into projects

lunch and dinner served

The Boy showered and cleaned up after he played in his sandbox for a few hours.

Oh and a blog post written and posted.

So a very productive day.

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Spray Paint

June 22, 2011 at 10:51 am (Uncategorized)

So I’m spray painting my old white wicker knock off furniture that came with the house 5 years ago and has seen better days.  We went to one of our favorite stores Monday night, Lowe’s, and bought some really cool retro lawn furniture

Garden Treasures Retro Yellow Double Glider

Garden Treasures Dining Patio Chair
I actually got the chairs in the yellow and the glider in the green, along with the white end table and a child’s chair in green.
These and a nice fire pit were our major purchases of the evening.
UniFlame 34" Steel Firepit with Slate Tile Surround
The fire pit will go in the back yard and the new furniture on our wrap around front porch.  All old front porch furniture is getting a new coat of paint in either the green or the yellow and will go around the fire pit.
I’ve only gotten 3 of the 5 chairs painted and my arm is killing me.  Seriously, why didn’t I think to get one of those handy little spray can comfort nozzle handles?!?
Rust-Oleum Comfort Spray Grip
I’m going to Lowe’s today, I don’t care if it’s a 20 minute drive!  I’m getting one of these puppies for $6.29 and then I’ll tackle the other 3 chairs and love seat, did I mention the love seat?
Maybe next week I can do something about the weeds.  Or maybe I’ll just move my nice newly painted chair to the side of the fire pit turn my back to my weeds and face my neighbors nice manicured lawn.

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They are always watching and learning.

June 20, 2011 at 11:30 am (Uncategorized)

I read a post this morning by The Diaper Diaries.  It really got me to thinking.  I’ve always tried to give Jim room to be the Dad he is and let them do things their way even if it was different from my way.  I must confess, however, to sometimes saying things that, if I was honest, would have sent me over the moon angry if they had been directed to me.

The other part that held some conviction for me was when she talked about God calling her friend out on teaching the kids disrespect by being disrespectful herself.  Ouch.  I haven’t noticed my son talking disrespectful but I do see his reactions and attitudes reflecting mine. Sometimes it’s not pretty and I’m convicted to try to change not only his reactions but first, my own.  Only if I change first do I have any hope of effecting a change in him.

I’m also reading a book by Marla Taviano, “Is That All He Thinks About?  How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband.  I’ll be honest, I’m in a VERY dry spell.  I’m not only not interested in any marital relations, I’m really not feeling up to even cuddling, I just don’t want to be touched.  Not by my husband, not by my son, not even or maybe especially not by our dog.  I’ve always had sensory issues.  My parents tell me they used to have to wait until I was asleep to hold me, I just didn’t like to be held even as an infant.  But, God gave me a husband whose primary love language is touch.  WHY?!?!?!

Because I need to change.

He does that you know, that’s one of the reasons for marriage.  You help each other become who God wants you to be.  No matter what we may think, we always have some growing to do.

I sent my husband the link to her other book, “The Husbands Guide to Getting Lucky” I told him I wanted to read the one for wives, turn about is fair and all that.

I love the way Marla writes, just as if she’s sitting across from you talking, and she doesn’t pull any punches.

There was one part in the very first few pages that really hit me where I lived….

When she prayed about wanting her husband to change before she’d meet his sexual needs, God convicted her of conditional love at its worst.  Ouch.

She quotes 1 Corinthians 7:4

“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.  Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.”  Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.”

She goes on to put it this way…

“…sex is more than something you do or don’t do as you feel like it.  It’s an explicit command from our Creator.”

“…If God commands me to have sex with my husband and I don’t want to, does that mean I have a rebellious – a sinful – attitude?”

Oh dear, rebellion.

I would recommend this book to every wife who struggles in this area.

I’m still struggling, and my husband is wonderfully patient.  I have issues, I was molested as a child, but I can’t use that as an excuse and refuse to seek healing in this area, not if I want my marriage to be healthy and strong.  Not if I want my children to grow up and have healthy, strong marriages.  They are always learning, even when we think they aren’t even watching….

 

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WFMW – Thrifty Cleansing

June 15, 2011 at 8:25 am (Uncategorized)

I’ve been promising my friend who has a Thrifty Sister newsletter she sends out among a few friends that I would get this post written. I gave her a titillating preview of “Thrifty” personal hygiene, so I should get this completed.

The truth is I’ve been afraid to put it into writing what I’ve been experimenting with. Many will think it’s gross, yet it has been a wonderful experience and I’m very happy with the result.

We here in the West however, have been programmed to expect certain things from ourselves and others in the personal hygiene arena.

Western thinking encourages daily showers and shampoo. I had a hairdresser tell me you must shampoo twice and condition twice, every day to have healthy hair. Why then, when I followed those instructions did my hair resemble hay and straw? My scalp was dry and itchy, dandruff that those special medicated shampoos did nothing for, and don’t get me started on the amount of leave in conditioners and anti frizz products I was putting on and then washing off the next day only to put them in my hair again.

Something wasn’t working. I had to find a different way.

Add to my “hair issues” the fact that I should have had stock in Suave and Lubraderm. I went through so much lotion! If I was African-American you would have called my skin ashy. VERY dry and flaky, I itched constantly and I was applying tons of lotion.

Again, something had to be wrong. I started slathering myself in baby oil before each shower. That seemed to help but not fix the problem.

Then I ran across an article on Parent Hacks.   A mother was having trouble with her little girl letting her wash rinse repeat and condition her very tanglie hair. The 3 in ones didn’t work so she started just conditioning, no shampooing. What she found was that it worked. Her daughter’s hair was manageable and easy to comb. It never looked greasie and since she was only conditioning then rinsing, fighting stopped.

Thus began my first experiment. Conditioning only.

Worked well. The itchy scalp went away. The dandruff went away. The need for all those leave in products went away!

Then I stumbled across this blog…Sorta Crunchy

Shampoo free. Or Poo-free as they termed it.

I decided to try it.

And it works!

My hair has never been more manageable.

I took it a step further. I use only water. That’s right just water.

I spend the same amount of time under the shower spray massaging my scalp and rinsing my hair as if I was massaging in shampoo and rinsing, but without anything but water. Only if I go swimming in a chlorinated pool do I use the baking soda and Apple Cider vinegar to get out the chlorine.

I’ve been doing this since February, water only since March 2011. I did have about a week where I was slightly oily and I just pulled it back into a bun and let it be.

You can’t get much more thrifty than free.

No shampoo to buy, no conditioner to buy, no leaving products to buy. I do have a can of spray coconut oil that I spray lightly after I get out of the shower, that’s it.

Here’s another link to Sorta Crunchy, with an update of how it worked for her.

Here’s another take on it. This time from The Herbwife’s Kitchen.

I went cold turkey not the gentle way she suggests.

I do use a natural bristle hair brush, $5 at walmart in the ethnic hair care section.

I brush at night, use a large tooth comb in the morning and I “wash” twice a week. More on that in a minute.

I love my hair, I no longer feel like I am fighting it. The day I shower, I towel dry, spray a little coconut oil and comb my hair. That’s it, I let it air dry, the curls are well-defined and look lovely. That night comb with the large tooth comb and pull it back into a low pony tail for sleeping, it’s past my shoulders and I hate to feel it around my neck as I sleep. The next day I comb and fluff it back out a bit, maybe wetting my hands with water and running them through to bring the curl back out. That night, brush with my natural bristle brush to pull my natural scalp oils to the ends, pull back into low pony tail for sleep. The next day I usually bush it and leave it in a pony tail/loose bun. “Wash” again the 3rd day.

Shower days are usually Wednesday and Saturday. I started the Oil Face Washing Method I found on Sorta crunchy, can you tell I love her site?

I started with equal parts castor oil, Jojoba oil and grapeseed oil. I also find I need more moisturizer so I added avocado oil as a moisturizer. I only “wash” my face with my triple oil “cleanser” on shower days. I slather on the oil and cover my face with a nice hot wash cloth ala old-fashioned barber shave style then when the cloth cools I use it to wipe off the excess oil.

Another blog on OCM by Aisha Wood.

After doing both the shampoo free and the OCM on my face I began to wonder if this wasn’t the answer to my lotion addiction as well. I decided to experiment a little on my own and in a soap dispenser I placed a 50/50 mix of olive oil and castor oil and began to apply that all over before stepping into the shower.

After steaming my face and “washing” my hair I take a loofah and scrub off the excess olive/caster oil.

That’s it.

Lest you think I am able to do this because I never sweat, never fear, I do.  I go to Curves 3 times a week (well, that’s what I try to do) and I’m getting back into running, and I do clean my house and work up a sweat.  However, what causes the smell is bacteria on the skin mixing with the sweat.  I’m beginning to think that the OCM keeps that bacteria low because even when I sweat, it doesn’t seem to smell bad.  It used to be that after a workout I had to get into the shower quick because I couldn’t stand to smell myself.  Now, Jim tells me that I never have that B.O. smell.  Last week when I had the flu with chills and cold sweats I could smell an odor, but I chalk, that up to sick sweat.

I buy the olive oil by the gallon at BJ’s, that’s a wholesale warehouse, Sam’s club type store. The castor oil I buy from my local natural foods store as well as the grapeseed, jojoba, and avocado oils.

The avocado I actually buy the cooking quality, not the cosmetic quality of, both are cold pressed and as far as I can tell, identical except the food quality bottle is cheaper by the ounce.

I’m not sure what I actually spend a month on the oils. I have only bought one bottle of each so far and I haven’t run out yet.

I do know that I’m not spending near as much as I was on personal hygiene products and my hair and skin feel and look SO much better that even if this wasn’t a “thrifty” option, it would still be my option.

So there’s what I do. You may not be willing to try it, you may think me weird for doing it, but, it works VERY well for me.

Linked up to We are THAT Family, Works For Me Wednesday

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