They are always watching and learning.

June 20, 2011 at 11:30 am (Uncategorized)

I read a post this morning by The Diaper Diaries.  It really got me to thinking.  I’ve always tried to give Jim room to be the Dad he is and let them do things their way even if it was different from my way.  I must confess, however, to sometimes saying things that, if I was honest, would have sent me over the moon angry if they had been directed to me.

The other part that held some conviction for me was when she talked about God calling her friend out on teaching the kids disrespect by being disrespectful herself.  Ouch.  I haven’t noticed my son talking disrespectful but I do see his reactions and attitudes reflecting mine. Sometimes it’s not pretty and I’m convicted to try to change not only his reactions but first, my own.  Only if I change first do I have any hope of effecting a change in him.

I’m also reading a book by Marla Taviano, “Is That All He Thinks About?  How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband.  I’ll be honest, I’m in a VERY dry spell.  I’m not only not interested in any marital relations, I’m really not feeling up to even cuddling, I just don’t want to be touched.  Not by my husband, not by my son, not even or maybe especially not by our dog.  I’ve always had sensory issues.  My parents tell me they used to have to wait until I was asleep to hold me, I just didn’t like to be held even as an infant.  But, God gave me a husband whose primary love language is touch.  WHY?!?!?!

Because I need to change.

He does that you know, that’s one of the reasons for marriage.  You help each other become who God wants you to be.  No matter what we may think, we always have some growing to do.

I sent my husband the link to her other book, “The Husbands Guide to Getting Lucky” I told him I wanted to read the one for wives, turn about is fair and all that.

I love the way Marla writes, just as if she’s sitting across from you talking, and she doesn’t pull any punches.

There was one part in the very first few pages that really hit me where I lived….

When she prayed about wanting her husband to change before she’d meet his sexual needs, God convicted her of conditional love at its worst.  Ouch.

She quotes 1 Corinthians 7:4

“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.  Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.”  Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.”

She goes on to put it this way…

“…sex is more than something you do or don’t do as you feel like it.  It’s an explicit command from our Creator.”

“…If God commands me to have sex with my husband and I don’t want to, does that mean I have a rebellious – a sinful – attitude?”

Oh dear, rebellion.

I would recommend this book to every wife who struggles in this area.

I’m still struggling, and my husband is wonderfully patient.  I have issues, I was molested as a child, but I can’t use that as an excuse and refuse to seek healing in this area, not if I want my marriage to be healthy and strong.  Not if I want my children to grow up and have healthy, strong marriages.  They are always learning, even when we think they aren’t even watching….



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WFMW – Thrifty Cleansing

June 15, 2011 at 8:25 am (Uncategorized)

I’ve been promising my friend who has a Thrifty Sister newsletter she sends out among a few friends that I would get this post written. I gave her a titillating preview of “Thrifty” personal hygiene, so I should get this completed.

The truth is I’ve been afraid to put it into writing what I’ve been experimenting with. Many will think it’s gross, yet it has been a wonderful experience and I’m very happy with the result.

We here in the West however, have been programmed to expect certain things from ourselves and others in the personal hygiene arena.

Western thinking encourages daily showers and shampoo. I had a hairdresser tell me you must shampoo twice and condition twice, every day to have healthy hair. Why then, when I followed those instructions did my hair resemble hay and straw? My scalp was dry and itchy, dandruff that those special medicated shampoos did nothing for, and don’t get me started on the amount of leave in conditioners and anti frizz products I was putting on and then washing off the next day only to put them in my hair again.

Something wasn’t working. I had to find a different way.

Add to my “hair issues” the fact that I should have had stock in Suave and Lubraderm. I went through so much lotion! If I was African-American you would have called my skin ashy. VERY dry and flaky, I itched constantly and I was applying tons of lotion.

Again, something had to be wrong. I started slathering myself in baby oil before each shower. That seemed to help but not fix the problem.

Then I ran across an article on Parent Hacks.   A mother was having trouble with her little girl letting her wash rinse repeat and condition her very tanglie hair. The 3 in ones didn’t work so she started just conditioning, no shampooing. What she found was that it worked. Her daughter’s hair was manageable and easy to comb. It never looked greasie and since she was only conditioning then rinsing, fighting stopped.

Thus began my first experiment. Conditioning only.

Worked well. The itchy scalp went away. The dandruff went away. The need for all those leave in products went away!

Then I stumbled across this blog…Sorta Crunchy

Shampoo free. Or Poo-free as they termed it.

I decided to try it.

And it works!

My hair has never been more manageable.

I took it a step further. I use only water. That’s right just water.

I spend the same amount of time under the shower spray massaging my scalp and rinsing my hair as if I was massaging in shampoo and rinsing, but without anything but water. Only if I go swimming in a chlorinated pool do I use the baking soda and Apple Cider vinegar to get out the chlorine.

I’ve been doing this since February, water only since March 2011. I did have about a week where I was slightly oily and I just pulled it back into a bun and let it be.

You can’t get much more thrifty than free.

No shampoo to buy, no conditioner to buy, no leaving products to buy. I do have a can of spray coconut oil that I spray lightly after I get out of the shower, that’s it.

Here’s another link to Sorta Crunchy, with an update of how it worked for her.

Here’s another take on it. This time from The Herbwife’s Kitchen.

I went cold turkey not the gentle way she suggests.

I do use a natural bristle hair brush, $5 at walmart in the ethnic hair care section.

I brush at night, use a large tooth comb in the morning and I “wash” twice a week. More on that in a minute.

I love my hair, I no longer feel like I am fighting it. The day I shower, I towel dry, spray a little coconut oil and comb my hair. That’s it, I let it air dry, the curls are well-defined and look lovely. That night comb with the large tooth comb and pull it back into a low pony tail for sleeping, it’s past my shoulders and I hate to feel it around my neck as I sleep. The next day I comb and fluff it back out a bit, maybe wetting my hands with water and running them through to bring the curl back out. That night, brush with my natural bristle brush to pull my natural scalp oils to the ends, pull back into low pony tail for sleep. The next day I usually bush it and leave it in a pony tail/loose bun. “Wash” again the 3rd day.

Shower days are usually Wednesday and Saturday. I started the Oil Face Washing Method I found on Sorta crunchy, can you tell I love her site?

I started with equal parts castor oil, Jojoba oil and grapeseed oil. I also find I need more moisturizer so I added avocado oil as a moisturizer. I only “wash” my face with my triple oil “cleanser” on shower days. I slather on the oil and cover my face with a nice hot wash cloth ala old-fashioned barber shave style then when the cloth cools I use it to wipe off the excess oil.

Another blog on OCM by Aisha Wood.

After doing both the shampoo free and the OCM on my face I began to wonder if this wasn’t the answer to my lotion addiction as well. I decided to experiment a little on my own and in a soap dispenser I placed a 50/50 mix of olive oil and castor oil and began to apply that all over before stepping into the shower.

After steaming my face and “washing” my hair I take a loofah and scrub off the excess olive/caster oil.

That’s it.

Lest you think I am able to do this because I never sweat, never fear, I do.  I go to Curves 3 times a week (well, that’s what I try to do) and I’m getting back into running, and I do clean my house and work up a sweat.  However, what causes the smell is bacteria on the skin mixing with the sweat.  I’m beginning to think that the OCM keeps that bacteria low because even when I sweat, it doesn’t seem to smell bad.  It used to be that after a workout I had to get into the shower quick because I couldn’t stand to smell myself.  Now, Jim tells me that I never have that B.O. smell.  Last week when I had the flu with chills and cold sweats I could smell an odor, but I chalk, that up to sick sweat.

I buy the olive oil by the gallon at BJ’s, that’s a wholesale warehouse, Sam’s club type store. The castor oil I buy from my local natural foods store as well as the grapeseed, jojoba, and avocado oils.

The avocado I actually buy the cooking quality, not the cosmetic quality of, both are cold pressed and as far as I can tell, identical except the food quality bottle is cheaper by the ounce.

I’m not sure what I actually spend a month on the oils. I have only bought one bottle of each so far and I haven’t run out yet.

I do know that I’m not spending near as much as I was on personal hygiene products and my hair and skin feel and look SO much better that even if this wasn’t a “thrifty” option, it would still be my option.

So there’s what I do. You may not be willing to try it, you may think me weird for doing it, but, it works VERY well for me.

Linked up to We are THAT Family, Works For Me Wednesday

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Be Kind

June 13, 2011 at 12:46 pm (Uncategorized)

Wednesday there will be a very long post here that I plan on linking up with Gypsy Mamas Works For Me Wednesday.  I’m a little apprehensive about the post as it will really be putting myself out there for criticism.

I’m afraid of what people are going to think of me.

Yet, as the link at Gypsy Mama suggests, it’s something that works for me. It works well for me.  I’m very happy with what I’m doing, so why do I care what people think?

Because I have been brought up to worry about what people think.  My whole life has been, “Don’t do that, what will your dad’s church members think?”

A friend of mine posted a quote from Dr. Seuss as her Facebook status the other day.

‎”Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

When will I truly begin to believe this.  It’s true.

So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to be who I am on Wednesday.

Your reaction to it is your reaction to it and it’s not going to rule my day.

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I Want To Run Away

June 10, 2011 at 7:45 am (Uncategorized)

I’m considering taking a weekend off.  We have a camp ground in the area that has cabins.  I’m thinking of booking one for a whole weekend, just for me.  Take my coffee pot, some protein bars and shakes, my Bible and some worship music.

I feel like I’m a big balloon full of anger and it doesn’t take much for me to pop.  I don’t like living that way, I need some time of refreshing and to allow God to deal with whatever the root cause of this anger is.

I think if we were all more honest with ourselves, we’d all agree we need time to recharge.  That looks different for each of us, but we all must allow God to pour into us if we are going to keep pouring out.  I think my need for a whole weekend stems from many years of not taking those small refreshing breaks.  Many years of pushing down the anger that rose up in many little situations.  Not dealing with things God would bring to the surface.  It’s time to deal with them.  Truly deal with them.  Before I explode all over some unsuspecting person who pokes me with a sharp stick.


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Grateful Heart

June 7, 2011 at 9:56 am (Uncategorized)

A few of my blogging friends are doing a list of what all they are grateful for.  Some have set a goal of 100 or 1,000.  I’ve decided to join them.

The Bible says to count your blessings so here goes…

1. A wonderful husband who loves me more and more every day, or so he tells me.  🙂

2. A son who can drive me crazy, but is still my miracle boy.

3. A doctor who knew when to make the hard call for a very necessary C-section to save my son.

4. Coffee, lots of coffee

5. The blessing of sponsoring a child through Compassion.

6. A house to call home.

7. The right to have many Bibles openly displayed and available to read at my fingertips.

8. Technology that allows me to connect with others all over the world.

9. An abundance of material to use to make quilts simply because I enjoy the process.

10. Food in my pantry, enough to feed my family for quite a while should the unthinkable happen.

It’s amazing how simple it is once you get started, there are more but I think I will limit myself to 10 at a sitting.  We all have so much to be thankful for.  It’s so much easier to look at all the negative in our life we crowd out the good.  I’m going to make a concentrated effort to look at the positive.  Life’s  so much more enjoyable that way.

Linked to Gratituseday over on Heavenly Homemakers.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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Hello again

June 3, 2011 at 4:30 pm (Housework)

It’s been awhile, I know, I’m sorry.

May was a crazy month, add a little bit of depression to that and well, that’s just the way it goes.

I spent most of May doped up on allergy medication.  I was on 5, count them FIVE, different allergy meds just to be able to breathe.  Not fun.

Also in May, my baby brother (who is now 31 and possible not wanting to be called baby brother anymore) graduated medical school and earned the title Captain Bingham with the Army all in the same day.  Since we only live about 7 hours away we of course were there to see it in person.  So glad I went.  Mom and Dad live on the other side of the country and mom’s health is such that they were unable to come.  I’m glad we could.

We rented a condo outside of DC for a LOT less than we could have gotten a hotel and stayed a full week, sight-seeing and running around.  It was a very nice vacation and I wasn’t allergic to anything down there so I was able to come off my meds.  YEAH!  Haven’t had to go back on them since we’ve been home either, but Hubby has.  Whatever I was allergic to left and now it’s his turn I guess.

I’m now trying to get back into my schedule and take back my house that got out of control while I was drugged.  So far, I’ve reclaimed the kitchen and my sewing/prayer/den room.  Next is the toyroom/TV room and then I’ll tackle the mounds of clothes to donate piled around our bedroom.

It never ends.

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Allergy Fog

May 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm (Uncategorized)

I’m completely in an allergy fog this spring.

It’s all the rain. Every time we have a very wet spring, I’m miserable.

I’m pretty sure I’m highly allergic to some mold spores that are usually nice and dormant down in the soil.

Until it rains.

A lot.

If the mold and the trees and the flowers and the bees would just quit having all that pollen sex I’d be alright.

I wouldn’t have to be on 5 different kinds of allergy medicine.

I can tell if I’m late for a dose of any of them, too.

Each one has an effect on something different I guess.

So that’s my excuse, I’m doped up, I can’t think straight and so I haven’t been posting much.

Summer come quickly, PLEASE!

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May 3, 2011 at 7:10 am (Uncategorized)

Gratefulness seems to be a running theme this week.  On my blog The Worship Warrior I journal about what songs I wake up singing.  Both yesterday and today were songs of gratitude.

First off, I’m so thankful that God gives me a song to sing. A friend of mine pointed out that if I paid attention to the songs, they might just hold the key to my day.  As I’ve begun to do just that I do see a correlation with my morning song and the wisdom I need for the day.

That so amazes me.  That God would take the time to give me a personal song that will fit my day!  It’s like those mixed tapes we used to make to show how much we cared for someone.

Secondly, I’m thankful for my new on-line friendships I’ve made.  I love that we have an opportunity to connect and support people we would otherwise never have a chance to meet.  I am so blessed to read many of your stories and to know that I am not alone.

Heavenly Homemaker

Vanderbilt Wife

Musings of a Housewife

Barefoot and Pregnant

For Such a Time as This (this one I get to know in real life too!)

Simple Mom

Sorta Crunchy

The Gypsy Mama

Just Simply Live (another in person friend)

I get encouragement and draw strength from these women whether they realize it or not, they are an inspiration. And for them I am thankful.

Linked in with Gratituesday over at Heavenly Homemakers.

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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One of Those Days

April 30, 2011 at 10:17 am (Uncategorized)

It’s started out as one of Those days.

I overslept, understandably, as we were out late last night for my Birthday dinner and a concert.

Before my coffee was finished brewing The Boy, who was also up late playing with the babysitter, was up and whiny.

Hubby needed to go get some parts for the car and needed to have me test drive my car he just fixed, so everyone went to the store.

The Boy was good until the new matchbox sized dump truck fell out of everyone’s reach in the car… more whining.

Upon returning home, The Boy decides he MUST be the first one to walk down the sidewalk to the house, not daddy… more whining.

As he is passing daddy, he misjudges the bags daddy is carrying, running right into them and knocking himself down and splitting his lip.

Now there is crying AND whining.  More drama over cars left in the car then cars left in the house and mommy is about to run into the woods screaming.

Right now, daddy is working on the car, The Boy is outside playing and mommy is seriously thinking about taking a much-needed birthday nap…..

Never mind, The Boy just came in crying.

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Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure

April 27, 2011 at 8:32 am (Uncategorized)

The fight against cancer goes on.  In today’s society everyone knows someone who has been touched by breast cancer.  Whether it’s a friend or relative, someone in your circle has battled breast cancer.  I have found a way to fight against cancer- through the Susan G. Komen CNY Race for the Cure®.  I will be dedicating my walk to Allison, who is currently battling breast cancer.
The Komen Race for the Cure is a community event that honors and memorializes breast cancer survivors, co-survivors and those that have lost to the disease.  The Race also plays a vital role inraising funds for research, education, prevention, advocacy and treatment.  Each year over 1.3 million people take part in Race for the Cure events around the world.   My team will be joined by hundreds of others on May 14 at the New York State Fairgrounds.

How can you help?
You can support me by making a tax-deductible contribution to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. If you would like to donate, please visit Kara with Al’s Rack Pack and click on my personal page to make a donation to my efforts.  You may also call me with the amount you will be pledging and can send the donation, payable to the CNY Race for the Cure, to me at the address below.  I must have all donations by (insert donation due date here).

Additionally, you can join me at the event as a walker, runner or volunteer for the event.  There are many ways to join in on the fight to end breast cancer forever.

Thank you for supporting the fight against cancer!

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